Nick's Notes :: Notes :: WoW :: Breaking News :: March 18 2009 - View Topic (Page 1 of 153)
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| | March 18 2009 (18th Mar 09 at 4:51am UTC) | Quote Reply | Terrince: Hello Orgrimmar! Thank you for listening to the ten o'clock action news! And here is Tammy with tonight's top story!
Tamance: Thank you Terry. Tonight's top story comes from Gadgetzhan with an update of yesterday's—Oh my god! Breaking news from Tarren Mill. There have been reports of a female dwarf sighting in Hillsbrad Foothills!
Terrince: Just in! The Undercity Apothecarium has announced a reward for the capture of the female dwarf! The dwarf is preferred alive.
Tamance: Well, Terry I do hope they capture this mythlogical creature! I would love to see a female dwarf upclose! All I have ever heard were stories.
Terrince: We are getting reports that the Zhevras in Barrens have quit dropping their hooves for bypassing pedestrians! Despite that Zhevra's can not walk without their hooves! We have tried, and tried again, to find a Zhevra that has hooves!
Tamance: Wow! I thought the murlocs with no heads were one of a kind with missing vital pieces. Looks like I was proven wrong!
Terrince: Heh. That's news to me!
Tamance: It looks like I forgot the original top story! Yesterday we reported on the zeppelin crash via the route of Undercity and Vengeance Landing!
Terrince: To those of you subscribed to our breaking news updates learned of an additional survivor passed leaving two remaining.
Tamance: However, as of late last night the zeppelin route is up and running on normal schedule again! We asked the goblins for a statement on the crash and they refused to comment.
Terrince: Awesome! Now I can go see what the shoveltusk stag fights are like!
Tamance: Commercial break!
Terrince: There is an art, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in being able to distract yourself while flying, so you end up missing the ground on the way out. Flying lessons, please visit the Shattrath Skyguard for more information!
Tamance: Breanni who owns the pet shop in Dalaran, is happy to announce the release of a new line of pet leashes.
Terrince: Breanni worked in cooperation with Haris Pilton from Shattrath City to make this possible!
Tamance: The old line of leashes have been discontinued. Breanni also assures us this new leash line will be the same price as our beloved discontinued leash line.
Terrince: You pet lovers. Why must you always be catered? We should focus our resources on other things!
Tamance: However, this is an exciting event for pet lovers everywhere! Well, now to Terry for sports!
Terrince: This afternoon there was a great game of Gnome Football. The Taurens have defeated the Orcs fifty-two to twenty-nine. Better luck next time Orcs and a congratulations to the victorious Tauren Red Bulls.
Terrince: In related news, sports fans the Crimson Star Energy drinks maker has released a press statement that they are experimenting with non rogue energy drinks! Imagine the action of these great games then!
Tamance: Sigh. I'll never understand men and their excitement with sports.
Terrince: It is a man's thing Tammy. A MAN'S thing.
Tamance: Oh! Whatever!
Terrince: Saurfang Outraged! A few nights ago, Weekly Warcraft posted a photo of Saurfang playing tea party with this stuffed doll, Susan! Susan was a completly nude Night Elf as well! Saurfang claims this is a fake picture, but is caught afterward with her!
Tamance: Shame on Saurfang, he could have at least pretended it was me!
Terrince: Nobody in their right mind would do that, Tammy.
Tamance: You are lucky we're live or I'd be kicking your ass, Terry.
Terrince: Heh. I'd like to see that!
Tamance: Is there a real "real life?" Studies show that 27.1% of people in Azeroth believe that they are really just fictional characters made up by a perverted company dubbed "Snow-Storm!"
Terrince: Will this cause an uprising, or will it just mean that more females will randomly jump out of nowhere onto a set place in the world, and immediatly take off their shirt and start dancing on mailboxes? I hope it's the latter!
Tamance: I hope you get slapped by your next girlfriend. And slapped hard.
Terrince: Well, anyway the ferry from Ratchet to Booty Bay and vice versa is having a party afloat at sea tomorrow! Tired of the long wait on the boat while travelling across continents? Now you can enjoy a slice of free cake and drink some ale!
Tamance: Sounds like it would be a riot!
Terrince: Yes it will! I'm so going.
Tamance: Silvermoon City has announced they are seeking to purchase more gnome slaves for work in the sweatshop and for a steady supply of gnome footballs! Sadly the last three gnomes were crushed.
Terrince: There are also reports that a few gnomes have managed to somehow escape from Silvermoon City. If you happen to spot one contact local authorities immeditly! Be warned, these slaves may be dangerous!
Tamance: They bite your ankles hard! And can disable your ability to walk! Better to stay safe and keep mounted!
Terrince: Well, now it is time for the insult of the day!
Tamance: You know I hate insult of the day, Terry?
Terrince: Yes I do Tammy. The insult of the day is: You filthy load of cow cud.
Tamance: Overlord Runthak has just announced Onyxia has been slain! Congratulations to the slayers! May you remain dragon killers!
Terrince: I thought this was old news? I heard she was killed years ago.
Tamance: Well this time Overlord Runthak says she has been slain! Or has she? Stay tuned for more news tomorrow!
Tamance: Well, we're signing off! This has been Tamance and Terrince hard hitting action Azerothian Reporters!
Terrince: Please direct all hate mail at me.
Tamance: Please send me the fan mail and a message via the mail system to sign up for breaking news mailed to you!
Terrince: We will be hanging around for a little while answering questions, we're usually swamped at first and apologize if we miss you. | |
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| | Re: March 18 2009 (6th Aug 16 at 3:14am UTC) | Quote Reply | ninest123
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Nick's Notes
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You have ventured upon the personal website of Nick. Notes, theories, thesis', papers, and ramblings of the mind are stored upon this forum. If you value your sanity I suggest turning away and not even bother requesting access...but however if you wish to set your mind to such trials then you may proceed.
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